IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
