Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
