your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
