Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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