I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
