We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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