That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
