I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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