barbara walters just said penis...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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