dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had to cum in my sink.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
