And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize