hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
