He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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