just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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