if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
