Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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