At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
