i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
