So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is Oprah even human
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
