I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
