i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
