I look better un-naked...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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