So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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