he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
