If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
