No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
