Duck Duck Cougar?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she smelled like a LAN party
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize