Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize