oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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