i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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