If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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