Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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