im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So vagazzling was a success
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
