it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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