Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
