Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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