so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
