I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
