I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
