Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They took my balls.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
