well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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