youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
