well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
