so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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