is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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