We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
