You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
