We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
