So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
