Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's never too late to be topless.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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