AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
