This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
