Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
