this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize