yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
