I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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