Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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