If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize