This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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