Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
Randomize
