She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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