I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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