I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
