We won't sleep together?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
NoShamevember. You game?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
