Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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