You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize